The Afterwards Game
by Lovepeacedance
Summary: Casey's world is falling apart, and she can't stop thinking about her one greatest regret.  Cappie appears to have moved on, but does he remember everything the way Casey does?  CappieCasey, CappieRebecca
1. Chapter 1

She sat on the familiar couch and felt herself sinking into the soft cushions around her.

_**If only I could keep on sinking**_

she thought,

_**just sink all the way down until this couch swallows me whole.**_

Casey shifted, grabbing a pillow to hold across her lap, and tucking her feet underneath her. As she moved she could see the ZBZ embroidered on her light pink pajama pants. The image sent an instant wave of remorse through her. She felt suddenly uncomfortable in her own clothes, in the sweat suit that boasted the symbol of her sorority, a symbol that had once been a source of pride to her.

Now she saw it and only felt regret, and shame.

Casey felt utterly empty.

How could it be that only a few years ago that emblem had meant the world was laid at her feet? Being a Zeta Beta had been to her, and the rest of the campus, one of the highest honors. How had they fallen so far? And sacrificed so much? She had given up everything for her sisters, with very little question. She had said goodbye to her own wants, goodbye to her own needs.

And she had said goodbye to him when they had asked it of her.

With a heavy heart she had said goodbye to him.

_**She had said goodbye to love. **_

Quickly shaking herself of the thought, Casey glanced around the room. It's once warm glow had gathered a chill since the fire had burned low, and the wind outside continued to kick and pound, causing the shutters to creak against the silence. The roar of the storm outside was nothing compared to the turmoil within the house.

The Events of the last few weeks had taken their toll on its inhabitants, in particular the petite blonde who now sat alone next to the dwindling fireplace. A large pile of papers sat sprawled in front of Casey, and she was overwhelmed by how much work there was left to do.

_**How could Frannie have done this to us?**_

Receipts, bills, bits of post-its, and the tattered, unorganized ledger that their former president had left behind consumed the small living room table. The scraps of paper covered the table so entirely that they threatened to pour over the sides.

Casey let out a quiet moan

_**Some legacy she left me**_

The thought came to her, and she knew that she shouldn't deal with it all at the moment. Her own life, her own mind was so clouded that she could barely focus on getting up and getting herself through the motions of the day.

Putting on the infamous Zeta Beta smile, and trying to hold her head high as her heels clicked through the campus quad. She had accepted the position of president in Frannie's absence, but could not commit herself to it whole-heartedly.

Casey had begun to bear a quiet resentment to the place and the lies she had lived by the past two years. Learning that their leader and role model was so corrupt had shaken the world of the Zeta Beta's. The perfection that they had striven for had been crushed and now they could barely show their faces.

Frannie had been her confidant for those years, and she had placed assurance in her that she would know what was best for Casey and the rest of her girls. In reflection, Casey had been disgusted at how easily she had given up things that were important to her, at the urging of her president.

Goodbye to everything that wasn't the Zeta Beta way, for the good of all the sisters.

Goodbye to him.

What a load of crap that had turned out to be. Now, instead of Frannie picking up the pieces, she was stuck with the job. A job, that as far as she was concerned was far worse punishment than she deserved. It was fairly ironic in a way, she knew that much at least. The position that she had surrendered everything for was finally hers, but now it was tainted.

The ZBZ's were no longer looked upon with envy, but with scorn.

_**Stop. Stop now.**_

She told herself. But Casey couldn't shake the memories of the past week that were flooding back to her. She was so overwhelmed by the scenes that were locked on repeat in her mind.

She wished she could shut them off.

Or delete them entirely.

The edge of the couch cushioned her head as she laid it back slowly and closed her eyes wearily.

His face came to her yet again. That look…

_**The look on his face.**_

Casey could vividly recall the mixed look of sadness and broken trust on Evan's face when she had entered the room. After the scandal had been leaked to the rest of the Greek community, Frannie had quietly resigned and disappeared back to the east coast. A meeting had inevitably been called to handle to the situation and Casey, as president, was expected there.

She had dressed the part the best she could. The new president of a broken sorority, with nothing left to offer, and everything to attain for. Stepping into the shoes of someone who had disgraced them, and trying to make amends for her.

She knew as she closed her fingers around the door handle that this was not going to be an easy task. All heads turned towards her as she opened the door, but she saw only his. Seated at the head of a long, endless table, looking less than inviting. He had only allowed his eyes to betray emotion for a second before turning them cold to her, and she felt the ice hit her across the room.

Cappie was there too of course.

All of the presidents were there to represent their houses. She could feel his eyes on her without having to look to the corner where she was sure he was sitting.

She could always feel his eyes on her when he was around.

At least his gaze was one of warmth that helped her ease through the barren, cold stare that Evan left for her.

But she couldn't look at Cappie.

She had wanted to so badly, but she knew her eyes would betray her if she did. That she would melt before him.

The seat at the head of the table, the one next to Evan that was meant for her, was taken. She wasn't surprised at how quickly the Tri pi's had jumped at the opportunity to fill the ZBZ's shoes as the most prestigious sorority on campus. She knew that, at one time, she would have done the same. With that title came the Omega chi's, and Evan.

She almost smiled at how desperate these girls seemed. His arms had been warm with her embrace less than a week ago, but that didn't matter to them. Casey might as well not have even existed anymore. Which again, she found funny, because she could picture Evan's letters, like a painful reminder of his absence, sitting on her nightstand back in her room. She knew he would ask for them back any day now, and she would be happy to see them go.

They had never really belonged to her in the first place, she thought.

Her heart still wore the letters of another, so there had really been no place for the letters that Evan had offered.

The look he was giving her offered no sympathy. Casey wondered if it was hard it was for him to put this show on for the others. She knew that he must be hurting still, because despite everything, she was.

She had quietly taken a seat, and then quietly taken the blame from the others that filled the room. Casey nodded her head as each member of the council had launched their attack her way. Evan remained silent through the meeting, neither defending nor assaulting her, just listening with a sense of detachment. It was the story that they all had heard and discussed countless times in the past weeks.

Frannie had led the Zeta's into a stream of debts, bribing professors for grades and favoritism. Council members and alumni alike were sought out to look the other way in the case of her sorority girls. The Dean was now coming down on all of the Greek community.

And Casey had to take the brunt of their anger that day.

Alone.

But not alone, she reminded herself.

Throughout the meeting she could still feel the heat from Cappie's eyes from the back of the room, like a constant wave keeping her afloat and keeping the sharks at bay. She didn't dare chance a look his direction. But she knew he was there. He was always there.

_**I still love him.**_

The scene in the boardroom of the post scandal council faded, and Evan's room appeared in her mind.

She had known that this was coming. Evan Chamber's couldn't be associated with a sorority that was making national news in such a negative way. Think what would happen if the press found out that he was dating the president of an organization that was involved in that behavior.

Think of what would happen to his family's reputation,

to his father's reputation….

He seemed pained to tell her this, but even now in Casey's mind it was all a blur….

_**Focus. Concentrate. Rebuild.**_

She sat forward and opened her eyes.

The fire had died completely and though the room was cold, she could barely feel it. She wrapped a blanket around her, more for appearances than anything. There were voices upstairs of the other girls, getting ready for the night's events. Not that many ZBZ's were still holding a riveting social schedule.

They were all social piranhas.

Or was it pariahs?

God, she could never remember.

_**(Knock……knock….)**_

Someone was knocking at the front steps. Though to Casey it seemed so far away through her daze, that she could faintly hear it. To her it could have been the wind crashing against the house yet again.

"Pledges!" Casey yelled up the staircase from her position on the couch.

She could barely muster the energy to yell up to them, never mind getting up in her state to answer the door. She waited, and no one came running, and the knock came again at the door.

Casey groaned and stood from her place.

She quickly straightened herself and paused to give the once over in the mirror opposite her. Her reflection gazed back.

The same Casey Cartwright, still beautiful beyond her knowledge, but more tired than she had been known to look before. Her eyes held a pain and a exhaustion that they had never carried. She pulled her hair down from her bun, and ran her fingers through it, in a half-hearted attempt to look presentable.

_**screw it**_

She shook out her hair and grabbed the blanket to wrap around her small frame before she ran over the front door, as someone knocked for the third time.

Casey swung the door open and her heart caught in her chest.

_**Cappie**_

"Case"

He was leaning against the doorframe and smiled as her name danced over his lips. He looked down into her face and it seemed as if he saved that certain smile only for her.

The one that he kept it in reserve for their special moments alone.

Those moments were few these days, she thought sadly.

He still called her by his nickname for her, and the familiarity of it sent a shiver running down her back. How could he still make her feel this way after all that she had put him through? She couldn't help but smile back.

"Hey Cap"

She said quietly, as she too leaned up against the door and leaned into him. It was partly an attempt to be near him, and partly because the way he was looking at her was making her feel a little weak.

His hair was messy and tousled the way it looked when he woke up in the morning. A memory of him laying next to her flashed into her mind.

She remembered the warmth of the sun tumbling through his blinds and into his bed where there were always tangled limb in limb. She could almost feel his brown hair as she ran her fingers through it and smoothed it away from his eyes as he was sleeping.

The memory was fading with time, and she felt the warmth slipping away. The rain and cold outside plunged her back to the front door of the ZBZ house. There was a pause as if he had been lost in the memory with her, as if they were both wishing to climb back into that bed and lose themselves in each other.

Their eyes locked as they came back to reality, and she realized how close they were now standing in the doorway. Less than an arms length separated the two, and the heat between their bodies was so tangible, it was if an unseen force was pulling them closer. When she looked up at him, he was watching her so intently, taking in each contour of her face and each fleck of color in her sad eyes.

Casey immediately turned herself away from him. She could feel the tiny strings tugging at her heart reminding her that he wasn't here to see her.

Not anymore.

"I think Rebecca's upstairs"

she said as she took a breath and stepped back, trying to regain her composure. The moment was broken, and his smile was gone.

He seemed almost as unsure and uncomfortable around her these days as everyone else was. That thought hurt her more than all of the others. That they couldn't even be the way they were supposed to be around one another.

Cappie and her had always had a connection and others had never determined it, until she had let them. There were moments when they were caught off guard and they would slip back into their old roles as if no time had passed.

But time has passed, she thought.

She wanted to scream inside some times when she saw him. She just wanted to shake him until he remembered who they were to each other. They were Cappie and Casey. It just made sense that way.

_**Maybe he doesn't remember.**_

Cappie and Rebecca.

She still had to remind herself which name was attached to Cappie's now.

Not hers.

It had been Cappie and Casey, once upon a time and god did that sound right to her. It was her fault, she knew.

She had dropped his name for Evan's, and then Evan had dropped her altogether.

And now it was just Casey.

She took her time as she moved away from him, wanting to take in as much as she could before she felt the emptiness again.

With her back to him, she returned somberly to her place on the sofa. She clutched the blanket even closer around her shoulders, suddenly feeling the full cold of the room, and of her life. She couldn't bring herself to look at him again, and she busied herself with the pile of work before her.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

_**(Knock….Knock)**_


	2. Chapter 2

……………………………………………………………………………………………

_**She is so god damn impossible**_

He thought to himself.

That was a moment, and he knew it. She had pulled away from him, just when he thought that she was going to let him in.

She had retreated from the door way back to the safety of the couch in the ZBZ living room, barely daring to glance his way. He knew she was trying to pretend like he wasn't there, like they hadn't just almost kissed in the doorway a moment ago.

_**So impossible**_

_**He was here for Rebecca**_

He reminded himself.

The days of him waiting in this very hallway for Casey were past now. And both of them needed to come to terms with that.

Cappie knew that Rebecca loved it when he would come pick her up from the zeta beta house. And Cappie had to admit to himself, that he loved it too, though he doubted that it was for the same reason. Rebecca loved to put on a show for everyone, and he still wasn't quite sure why he went along with her charade.

He knew that she loved to hang off his arm while the others girls watched her and gossiped about their strange pairing. God did that girl love to be the center of attention.

She thrived on him, and on the gossip that ensued whenever people saw them together. Rebecca craved the limelight like air and water.

She constantly needed it.

But he knew what she liked most about him coming over. It wasn't about him at all. It was about Casey. Seeing them together bothered Casey significantly.

And she loved bothering Casey.

But His reasoning was far different.

He hated how upset Casey always looked when he arrived there, giving him the same empty look she had given him tonight when he showed up. She walked around in a zombie like fashion these days and seemed to be a shell of the person that he had fallen in love with.

_**Still…..**_

Even being there and being able to see her, was reason enough for him to continue this ridiculous Rebecca game.

_**Ah, the dangerous Rebecca game.**_

He was a little out of his league here, and he knew he was close to really hurting someone that he truly cared for, but he couldn't figure out how to put the brakes on this whole thing.

To him it had been a fling, that was never meant to have been carried on this long, or this far. But he had to say, that Rebecca was growing on him. Not much, but growing none the less.

Cappie had always assumed as the daughter of a senator that she would be embarrassed of him.

The way that he felt Casey had been embarrassed of him when she would bring him to this very house. He remembered the leering eyes of her sisters when he would come looking for her. But as embarrassed as she may have been towards the end, Casey had never tried to hide him from anyone. He had been hers, and she had loved him, and she had never hidden that.

Rebecca on the other hand, had tried desperately to keep him her dirty little secret.

At first, she had tried to brush aside her attraction to him, to deny it. But soon she had given into his off the cuff charm and wit. They where constantly sneaking around, finding each other in dark corners.

_**Which was almost better**_

He knew it was awful, but when this had began, those dark corners made it easier for him to imagine she was someone else. To imagine that she smelled and tasted more familiar than she really did. He was searching for comfort in her arms and coming up vastly short.

She had been the one to make the first move, as girls usually did with him. It was strange to think about, but even now, a few weeks after that first kiss, he couldn't remember anything particularly exceptional about it.

_**No fireworks. **_

_**no sparks.**_

_**no passion.**_

She was hot. Without a doubt, he knew he was attracted to her. But other than the exterior, there really wasn't anything to write home about. As far as he was concerned, it was the perfect situation. No one ended up getting too attached if everything was kept at the surface level.

_**No one's heart can get broken this way**_.

Rebecca was fun, and she lived in the moment, and she cared about the now. Not about the future, like other people he tried his best not to think about. He really did try not to think about her. But that too was pretty god damn impossible.

He was extraordinarily sick of all that love crap. The only thing it brought into his life was hurt and pain. This thing he had with Rebecca was too simple for that.

Cappie had to keep reminding himself of the downfalls of love. Every time he came to pick Rebecca up from the ZBZ house, he would have to prepare himself. He had to keep telling himself how horrible, heart wrenching, and awful love could be. Because if he didn't keep it constantly in his thoughts, one look at Casey could make him forget.

One glimpse of her face, of that smile that she wore for him, could leave him wanting more.

_**More of her.**_

Especially when he looked at her tonight. She looked so lost, and so tiny while she clutched that oversize blanket around her little shoulders. She had her "Brave" face on, and he could tell she was trying to be distant.

She was a far cry from the pearls and sophistication of the usual attire of the Zeta Beta's. He knew that she had been through a lot, and taken a lot on her shoulders, and she looked so tired and beyond his reach. If only she would let him in, and let him help her. But she had all of her walls up, especially to him.

Which only made him miss her even more.

When he looked at her, at his Casey, he could only remember all the wonderful things that their love had brought him.

Days of laughter, spent in the sun running around campus or drinking coffee in that little out of the way café she loved. Or their Nights of passion, followed by three am trips to the store to grab pie and ice cream, or even the mornings that followed those nights.

They would lie in bed for hours, sometimes sleeping, sometimes pretending they were asleep so they would never have to leave.

His room at the kappa tau house had been their own personal cocoon. They had made his bed their world, and there everything made sense. She had been his queen and they had ruled over the sheets perpetually filled with crumbs of pie crust. There had been endless kisses, and promises, and moments where they were tangled in each other so tightly he never wanted to let her go.

She had always looked her best in those early hours to him. No makeup, hair all twisted and disheveled from him running his fingers through it. She had looked so beautiful to him, so comfortable in his arms.

He knew that their souls had intertwined in those hours lost in his room, and nothing else mattered to them. When she had finally left, her scent had lingered on those sheets before he could find the strength to wash them.

And even after that, long after she was gone, he would wake in the night to a faint aroma of her, and swear that she was there with him still.

_**The mornings were our time**_.

When Cappie thought of those mornings, he knew he had never been happy before her. Nor had he been since she had left him there, in their broken kingdom.

They had each other, they had love, and they had pie.

What could have ended such bliss?

_**Evan**_

The thought of him made Cappie's blood rise and he felt his face reddening at the image of Evan's face. How was it that he was always coming in second to that bastard? Was he really no better than Evan Chambers?

He laughed a little to himself

_**I guess Casey and Rebecca have both answered that for me**_

He reminded himself that while Rebecca was clearly interested in only him these days, her first choice had been Evan. He had gotten her first. And as far as Casey, she had been given the opportunity many times over to choose between him and Evan.

And it seemed that Evan Chambers always won out. Always got what he wanted, and Cappie was left waiting in the dust, with his head hanging low, and defeated. He was so damn tired of coming in right behind a pompous jerk off like that.

Not this time though.

He had the girl on his arm this time.

_**Too bad it was the wrong girl.**_

The right girl continued riffling through the pile of paper on the table to his left, trying to hard to ignore him.

He smiled to himself.

She was making it so obvious and he knew her too well. Knew all of her little habits, and her covers. He could always tell what she was thinking or how she was feeling by a simple eye roll, or a touch on her shoulder. Did she forget who she was putting this show on for? Didn't she remember as well as he did how deeply they knew each other?

_**I need to talk to her. **_

To tell her all of the things he was thinking, and to tell her that it wasn't Rebecca that he wanted to be holding and kissing. That he wanted it to be her that he came here to see, he wanted her to be the one in his bed at the end of the night, and the one he spent glorious morning after morning with.

He wanted to tell her that he had a pie waiting for them, and they could just leave now before Rebecca even…..

"Finally"

His thoughts were interrupted abruptly by the somewhat stern voice at the top of the staircase. Even their voices where different, he realized sadly. Rebecca's was straight to the point, matter of fact, and tough. Casey's was sweet, and like a song to him. He could hear her now, whispering "I love you Cap" into his ear, so softly that only he would hear it.

"Your late. Again"

_**God she was annoying**_.

He looked up to where she was standing. He was not in the mood to deal with her crap right now. But before he could raise his voice to interrupt, she was down the stairs in a swift motion, and attaching herself to his arm. She gave a sultry smile at him, and he thought twice about leaving her there.

She sent a different smile Casey's way, and Cappie did not like what he saw.

It was the same shit smile Evan would throw to him from up on his pedestal.

The "I've won" smile.

That's what Rebecca was radiating to Casey.

I've won and he's mine.

Casey looked on the verge of tears, and Rebecca swept him out the door before he had a chance to realize what was happening.

………………………………………………………………………………………………


End file.
